My Armor is My Hell

Alone I hold, my breath tearing through my bones.

Alone I hold, the scream stifled in my lungs.

Alone, always alone, holding my self as I’ve no one to hold.

No one to hold me, no one is there, no one for me, I never did dare.

I never dared to let them in, I never dared to risk the hurt.

It seems a cruel joke now, that alone I hurt worse.

The pain rips through me, a cruel barb that dig deep.

The pain rips through me, it makes wish I could weep.

Yet my smile never falters, my armor never cracks.

What once kept me safe, now causes the harm, the armor the hell not the haven I sought.

That thought I once had, that alone is best, painless is better, is now the shard in my soul.

The pain it causes, leave me screaming and alone.

Habits I can not break, an armor now a hellish case.

A hell filled pit from which I can not escape.

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