I would sleep if not for fear of dreaming.
It is not terrors that I avoid by leaving open my eyes. No, it is smiles and light and that feeling that avoids me in waking lands.
That warmth I’ve never known, that care for me that has never been shown. I fear the good seemings, those wonderful dreamings.
That is what leaves me awake and with a fear of sleep.
The idea of knowing a lover that was and might never be, a ghost that I’ll never again see.
That is why I won’t rest my eyes for even a short while, as to know that warmth and smile and lose it so fast.
It fills me mind, body, and soul, with not but rot and bile.