Cracking Creaking No More

Cracking creaking and suffering more, I see no reason, no reason at all as to why I hurt ever more.

The cracking and creaking and ever leaking form suffers and suffers ever more, though the pain shows not on my fading form.

It’s locked inside with these screams of mine as this cracking and creaking mind of mine breaks and shatters more and more, like a hammer to glass my soul falls apart and I hear it cracking and creaking and shattering more.

I wrap my arms around my self, to hold myself together, and simply scream in silent pleas “No more, no more.”


Writing My Soul

I have a strangeness in my hands, a tingling in the soul

My muse is calling, my muse is carving

Worlds and words only she does know

Not quite the tool, not quite the art

Something in between

This place in which I reside, thoughts in front words behind

With pen in hand and paper near, thoughts of my muse I hold so dear

I am the writer, not quite a tool, not quite the art

The soul of language flowing forth like ink I impart

This task I have, this place of mine

It’s what my muse made of me, not something I desired but something I did find

My ink my blood, my words my pain, the bits of brightness shine

I share my life, I share my soul, I bare it all and the scars do show

But this is my place, this is my part

This painful digging at scars is all part of writing, language’s art.

Hey I can write again..and no its not happy. (Poem is untitled)

My soul is maimed, tattered and torn, it is only pain I know, no wish to gain, no drive to know, just a ceaseless void, and empty cold.

I clutch it close, this cold I hold, this life line to existence, the only way I know, the only way to live, to endlessly exist, to hurt and withhold, to be maimed and cold, to exist instead of live, no life to call my own.

My soul is maimed, tattered and torn, it is only pain I know, no wish to gain, no drive to know, just a ceaseless void, and empty cold.

This empty cold, this pain, this tattered soul, this my life, my home. With no love to claim, and no true home, I wander lost, with no wander lust, no drive to continue, no passion to warm my weary soul. I want to stop, I want to cease and end, for this life to be over.

I want to end, I want to stop, to stop the pain and end the cold, to no longer hurt, to no longer be so dreadfully alone.

The empty cold is gone, the pain no more, my life is fleeing, in this barren land, this empty waste, with no home to claim, no drive to wander I lay my head to sleep, to rest and cease, to cease to screaming inside my head, to quiet to pain of my spirit. I wanted to leave it, leave it behind and call it an end, so I stopped, I let my self be carried away, quietly into that dark. To know no more, this pain, this cold, this maimed and tattered soul I could my home, and oh so sadly, called my own.

Single Awareness Day Thank You Message

Another thanks, to people that read my stuff and like it. It helps a lot ya know, so thanks. I’m actually thanking the people that help me today as well, I mean, I can say there is some people I follow blogs or channels of that have inspired me so much. They really have, it’s amazing how much a video or reading something can help, so incredible, but it does. While, my writings are not much writings you’d read to cheer yourself up, I do hope that those that read them get something out of the experience.

I know I myself likely do not seem that cheery of  a person, going off some of my stories, but, well that’s kinda true lets be honest here. However, just because I’m a bit of a down person doesn’t mean I don’t understand that the people here, regardless of why or how, are helping me using their time. As a writer, obviously, you have two goals, the first is to tell a story, a good story that people want to hear, the second, is to do the first while remaining true to yourself. It likely sounds corny, but, it’d be hard for me to write a good, happy, story, it likely wouldn’t be a good story, because I broke the second rule. So, hopefully, I’ll get better at this. I plan on going back to school and once I’m in school, despite classes, I do hope I’ll have more time to post things on here, more inspiration. I, think I’m starting to believe in myself, mean I don’t have that many followers on here, but its not just a number game, every person that likes and takes the time out their day to read my writings is a PERSON, you all have your things to do, yet here ya are. So really,


Happy Single’s Awareness Day (Or Valentines Day for those of you lucky enough to have someone to share it with!)

Have a  good one.

For the people that have inspire me

  • Markiplier (Mark’s Channel) A YouTube gamer that has an upbeat personality, hilarious reactions, and has taught me a thing or to about appreciating people. 
  • Danbull      (Dan’s Channel) A British rapper with a strong sense of whats right when it comes to internet freedom as well as an equally large love of games. 
  • All of the writers and authors that I’ve read up until now involved in the Faerune world setting.
  • Most of the artists I listen to on my itunes, i’d list them but you likely know them and it’d just get ridiculous.
  • Just about all the people I have followed on my DeviantArt, just click my DA account link and wander through my favorites, you’ll find them.
  • My friends, and family, seems trite perhaps, but having people that reads my work and tell me, honestly, if it’s bad or good, helps. Not to mention them just believing I can do this, at all.
  • Anyone who took the time to read this far, as a writer is nothing without their readers. I mean that truly I do, so thanks, again.